How to keep your attention until the end of this sentence? Or the one after this one? (This one.) Are you really reading this? Has it really worked? Really, you’ve chosen not to click away to the next random guy who’s shat upon some random url, or look up some porn and bring yourself off under your office desk, or decide the next temporary amusement for amazon to post you? How can I justify your attention? Me, of all things? A fist?

How dare I presume to speak to you, O precious thing? O unique creature? O, soul-being, life-form, noble-mortal; O feeling, wanting, lusting, hurting, thinking, knowing, different, failing, winning, legitimate thing – what can anyone really say to you? Me, of all things? A fist?

Enough of the questions and the question marks? No!

O reader, we are not knuckle brothers, crunched together in some weird irony: Our clenched fingers do not butt one another. Perhaps (let’s be frank) I hate you – such stupid hair! Such a stupid accent! Such unintelligence! An unfistworthy wonder, perhaps you are. But I am sure I do not, if you have indulged me, this far. This post is just a fistful of vacuous bilge; but stay with me to the end. Where I say plainly thank you, my momentary friend.